1. Slow walker
Like, let’s walk a little faster! Why do people walk around school like we have all day? We’ve got 3 minutes to get to the whole other side of the school and a crowd of slow freshmen. On top of that, we’ve got 3 flights of stairs to climb and backpacks weighing 30 pounds. Some of us are trying to get to class before the bell rings so we don’t get marked tardy. It should not feel like the Olympics to get to Stats class.
2. Being the only person doing work in a group project
Group work is basically a free grade for lazy people. It always starts the same way, “Let’s split the work evenly!’’ Everyone agrees, it’s like a dream team! But give it like 25 minutes, and only one person is designing the slideshows and writing the paragraphs, and doing all the research. While the rest of the group is staring at the wall. Then presentation day comes, and the people who did NOTHING are standing loud and proudly presenting. Saying stuff like “ Yeah, so we decided..’’ WHO IS WE?!
3. Pen clicking
Pen clicking. Everyone in the room is dead silent, begging you to stop. Why are you clicking your pen like it owes you an apology? You’re over there clicking that pen like it personally ruins your life, meanwhile, the rest of us are trying to hold on to the last three brain cells we have left. We’re all one sound away from throwing that pen out the window and enrolling in online school. PLEASE. PUT. THE. PEN. DOWN.
4. When the teacher says, “You’ll need this in real life.”
No, I will NOT need the quadratic formula to buy groceries. No one is out here in Target like, “Hold on, let me calculate the axis of symmetry before I decide which milk to buy.’’ Be serious, we are learning how to find X when we don’t even know how to do taxes, build credit, or avoid getting scammed by a car dealership. Please show me how to apply for health insurance without crying. Teach me how not to get a 25% APR on a car loan. Finding X has never paid for a bill. Ever.
5. Being called on when you clearly don’t have your hand up
Being called on when you don’t have your hands up is basically a jump scare for students. Like why? Now I’m frozen like a deer in headlights, trying to come up with something that sounds smart. You just have to sit there like, “Uhhhh…yeah.. I definitely agree…’’ Agree with whom? I have no clue what we’re even talking about. You don’t make students participate; you just make us look scared and question every life decision that led to this moment.
