New Jersey is a magical place where everyone gets along and girls don’t pump gas. The state is full of precious sparkling unicorns that frolic through the streets. Then, why has it been named as one of the most HATED states in America? Well, let’s take a quick trip to some of the state’s worst tourist spots.

1) Adventure Aquarium (Camden, NJ)

Now, you know, I love aquariums. I was excited to see that New Jersey has an aquarium of their own. I began scanning reviews online to see if this is a worthy travel destination. The majority of reviews praised the amazing tanks and creatures in them, but there were multiple complaints. What could be wrong with an aquarium? Well maybe the headline “So Crowded We Could Hardly Breathe” will tell you something about this attraction. There were also many complaints about the incredibly rude staff. Oh, and to make matters worse, someone said that the water in the tank was cloudy. CLOUDY! That is simply repulsive, isn’t it? Thank you, next.

2) Lucy the Elephant (Margate City, NJ)

What the actual heck is this? It’s a giant multi-story home that is in the shape of an elephant. I mean, look at that cute little face! I bet the first thing you’re going to do when you get to New Jersey is take a selfie with this beauty. Between the stabbing tusks and soulless eyes, I wouldn’t call it a dream home. If anything, it is an absolute nightmare. Thanks to Airbnb, you can now enjoy a comfortable stay inside of Lucy the Elephant. Seriously though, imagine waking up inside a 65 foot elephant. Yeah…I think I’ll sit this one out.

3) Space Farms Zoo and Museum (Sussex, NJ)

Finally a zoo! Bring on the animals! At the Space Farms Zoo and Museum you will get to see lions, tigers, and bears, oh my! Aside from the copious amounts of taxidermied animals on the wall at the entrance, it is a great place for family fun! Wait…what? Yes, you read that right. It doesn’t help that there is a nearby taxidermy company. Typically, people go to the zoo to see animals that are, you know, alive. While some can look past the ravishing roadkill, they still cannot ignore the conditions that the live animals are living in. Animals in small, overcrowded cages with very little room. I don’t think I’ll be stopping here.

4) Princeton University (Princeton, NJ)

I was intrigued when I found Princeton University on a list of best attractions in New Jersey. Apparently, you can take a tour of the campus led by students and staff that is an “informative” experience. Wow. That sounds riveting. I can’t wait to walk among the stressed students that are racing to class wondering why there are a bunch of clueless tourists taking pictures of the grass. I don’t think I’m educated enough to travel to this destination. NEXT!

5) Atlantic City Boardwalk

Supposedly, this is the best attraction in New Jersey, but I wouldn’t be too sure of that. Many of the reviews are desperate cries for help that warn travelers to not go there at night. Words like “scary” and “dangerous” are used to describe this dazzling destination. Also, one review calls it an absolute dump. I don’t think I will be taking a stroll here any time soon.