Buzzkill: Top 10 Worst Halloween Costumes

Annabelle Frazer, Features Editor

With the joyous breeze of summer coming to an end, it’s time to shift our attention away from Pacsun’s swimsuit sale, and onto the dark cloud returning known as high school. Through September’s endless sum of SAT’s, college prep, and homecoming proposals, there is one thing to take our stress away for exactly 2 months. If you’re anything like me, the moment July ends, your Halloween spirit is in full swing. While Karens complain about the isles of pumpkins and bats taking over the local target in early August, you blow your bank account on a completely necessary 12-foot tall Home Depot skeleton (look, we’ve all seen them). But aside from the cozy fall atmosphere and the smell of nutmeg in the air, the main attraction of Halloween is the costumes. 

We all have our different styles and preferences when it comes to our Halloween costumes. Some prefer to stick with light-hearted Disney references, like Monsters Inc. or Pooh Bear, others prefer more macabre costumes like the zombie girl from the pilot episode of The Walking Dead, resulting in them getting kicked out of a first grade Halloween party (thanks, Mom). While I always try to respect personal choice and preference, there are some costumes so overdone and flat out boring, that it makes me think twice about whether they really deserve some M&Ms. 

 With that being said, here are ten of the worst Halloween costumes that nobody wishes to see this year.

 

                                         1. A Football Player

 

You know, I wasn’t going to include this one. Is it even a costume, or just some end result of a lousy frat-boyfriend who peaked in high school, was never able to make the college team, and forgot that Halloween was this Friday? To me, this screams “Hi, my name is Chad, and I work at my local Locker Room.”

The only thing that could possibly make this costume more irritating, is if Chad decides he wants his girlfriend to be a generic peppy cheerleader alongside him. All I know is, if I happen to come across this costume at a party this Halloween, they will not be scoring any points with me. 

 

                          2. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn

 

Okay, this one isn’t terrible. If you style and pull it off, then this dynamic duo really has some potential. It isn’t necessarily the look that drags its score so low, but rather the fact that every..single..redhead on planet earth considers Poison Ivy as her costume at some point. Don’t get me wrong, as a girl with red hair, even I have fallen victim to this consideration. But remember, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

However, if you and your friend decide to give this costume a chance this Fall, do everyone a favor, and make sure that your Ivy and Quinn are both from the same comic, movie, or game. Or else, prepare for the storm of D.C Comics nerds hammering you to the ground with their wooden mallets. 

                                         

                                              3. Harry Potter

 

The boy who lived, and the costume that shall die. Seriously, what year is it? 2002? I don’t care who you are, anyone over the age of 13 who decides to dress up as any character from Harry Potter sets off immediate red flags. Superfan? Wannabe wizard? Psychopath? The list goes on.

Idea – if you are considering this costume this year, try inviting a friend to dress up as He Who Shall Not Be Named, so we may finally have a chance of ridding this costume from the Earth once and for all. Say, where’s that invisibility cloak again? This time, it might actually come in handy. 

 

                                    4. Any Food-Related

                           Couples Halloween Costumes

 

PB and J, avocado toast, milk and cookies, you name it. If the pairing exists, there’s guaranteed to be a costume to replicate it. Sure, these costumes seem clever in theory, until you realize twenty minutes into the night that the giant pizza suit instantly makes the room ten degrees warmer, you have severely limited mobility, and quite frankly, nobody is impressed. As you awkwardly struggle your way through the crowds, you find yourself wondering why you even agreed to this costume in the first place. Cheesy. 

 

                                        5. A “Hippy.”

 

Before I upset anyone, when I say “hippy,” I’m not referring to the genuine Grateful Dead, Woodstock, guitar circle hippies loyal to the late 60’s and early 70’s. When I quote “Hippy,” I’m referring to the mass produced, tacky Party City concoction of every single 1970’s stereotype. It’s all “love and peace” until someone else arrives at the party wearing the exact same plastic wig, tye-dye dress, and flower crown that you bought last minute for $34.99 on Amazon. 

 

                                         6. A Clown.

 

Reasons for popularity – zero. Clowns universally terrify everyone. Looking back on their history, that doesn’t come as much of a surprise. John Wayne Gacy, the entire It franchise, Terrifier, Killer Klowns from Outer Space…shall I go on? Clowns have maintained a terrible reputation with reason. I mean, when did we as a society decide to move past the clown terrorizations of 2016? Are we just going to pretend like clowns weren’t throwing hammers at passing cars during ungodly hours?

As always, I think it’s Pennywise to stay far, far away from any Bozos this holiday season.

 

                               7. An 80’s Gym-Rat.

 

Do you have a ridiculous amount of hideous neon clothing and patterns that in no universe fit together? If so, then congratulations! You’ve got a horribly unoriginal Halloween costume. The only thing this costume is missing is the Wham! CD that you stole from the local thrift shop because you couldn’t bring yourself to spend that extra sixty-nine cents. Complete the look with cheap polyester leg warmers that stain everything they touch bright green. Just like that, you’ve got a costume that will transport you back to the 80’s, when everyone exercised wearing sunglasses with flawless hair. 

 

                                      8. A Prisoner.

 

Maximum security prison, but make it *cute.* Given the many issues with this costume are pretty self explanatory, all I’m going to say is – since when are gogo boots part of the prison uniform, and, in that case, where do I sign up? 

 

                                           9. A Cop. 

 

Staying on theme, we have another occupation people seem to think is a good idea to impersonate. While a cop may be a classic costume that’s fairly easy to pull off, unless it’s previously made clear that a police officer is your costume, it can make for a very awkward entrance to any event or party. Also, in the scenario that there is an active crime or emergency nearby, good luck breaking the news that you earned your badge for $3 off of Spirit Halloween. Just don’t forget to call for backup on the dance floor. You’re gonna need it. 

 

                                10. The Incredibles. 

 

Naturally, I had to save the worst for last. To me, The Incredibles seem like the equivalent of unwrapping your present on Christmas morning, only to find that your gift is the exact same gift your older sibling received the year prior. Nobody is surprised, but boy is everyone disappointed. Besides that, there are countless issues with this costume. To name a few, do you really expect an infant and a dog to keep their mask on for the entirety of the night? Next thing you know, the 2-year-old is crying because they hate their mask, and the whole night is ruined by a trip to the emergency vet because the dog ate theirs. Also, must I point out the fact that absolutely nobody wants to see dad’s beer belly bulging out of that skin-tight spandex suit? 

 

Honey, where’s my super suit? It looks like I’ll have to take on these costumes 1V1.