Listen, I know, Valentine’s Day is coming up and you’re already preparing to be alone. Here are some pick-up lines that you should definitely stay away from.

1.) Do you live in a cornfield? Because I’m stalking you.

Yikes…we’re already starting out with a creepy one. If somebody told me they were stalking me, I don’t necessarily think I’d want to be their valentine. I don’t even understand how this would interest someone. Happy Valentine’s day, I got you some chocolates and a restraining order!!

2.) Remember me? I met you in my dreams.

This one is honestly not terrible, it would just make me projectile vomit and pass out cold. 

3.) Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past you again?

Immediately this one is just giving me Hallmark movie vibes. If you said this to me, I don’t think I’d be SEEing you again. 

4.) Your eyes are like IKEA. I’m totally lost in them.

Honestly, mad respect for whoever came up with this one because that place is like a bottomless pit. Seriously, that place should hand out maps like Disney World does. Not gonna lie though, if someone came up to me with, “your eyes are like IKEA”, I would be considerably concerned.

5.) We’re not socks, but I think we’d make a great pair.

No, no, and just in case that wasn’t clear, no. It is Valentine’s Day, do not bring up feet, or socks, or anything weird like that. Christmas already has the weird sock/stocking thing, let’s keep Valentine’s Day out of it.

6.) Do you like Star Wars? Because Yoda only one for me

No, I actually don’t like Star Wars. I’m all for a play on words, but this is simply not it. This pick-up line is definitely not the Obi-Wan for me.

7.) On a scale of 1-10, you’re a 9. I’m the 1 you need.

Absolutely not. I get the joke, but if you walk up to someone and say they’re a 9 out of 10, chances are, they’re going to start wondering why they’re not a 10. Ew…I hate math.

8.) If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you would be the McGorgeous.

This is something I would expect to see on a minion meme shared by a Facebook mom. Not saying it wouldn’t be cool to be a burger, but it’s not really something I wanna think about on Valentine’s Day.

9.) Hey, you’re Pretty and I’m Cute. Together, we would be Pretty Cute.

This is so bad. Like, so bad. Yeah go ahead and call YOURSELF cute. What’s up with that? I can tell you right now we would most certainly not be ‘pretty cute’.

10.) Roses are red, violets are blue, you can be my Cinderella, I’ll even give you a shoe.

Again with the feet. Nah. I swear a 7-year-old wrote this. How is this a pick-up line? If you use this, it’s likely that your potential date will run away before midnight.

I do not condone the use of these pick-up lines unless you would like to be alone on Valentine’s Day yet again.