We’ve all seen those movies with the typical moody teenager character that gets away with saying some questionable things to their parents. Here are some things you should probably never say to your parents.

1.) “Ugh…You cooked again?”

First off, I understand your pain, but you can’t say this. Sometimes that crispy Chick-Fil-A sandwich sounds like the perfect meal, but we all know, there’s always food at home. I cannot imagine putting time and effort into a meal just for your kid to come home and refuse to eat it. Instead of saying this, just pretend it’s a Gordon Ramsay level dish and thank your parents, they’re working hard.

2.) “Everyone else is doing it.”

Oh boy, here we go. I’m sure everyone has tried comparing themselves to other classmates or peers in an attempt to reason with their parents. It never goes well. It goes something like this:

“But Mom, everyone else is going to the ice cream shop.”

“If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you?”

3.) “You don’t understand.”

My dear friend, I guarantee they do understand. Even if they don’t, they’re gonna dust off their old yearbook and show you how they were a teenager at some point. They’ll probably compare their old problems to yours even though they had 50 cent movie tickets and horse-drawn wagons.

4.) “Whatever”

Yikes. This is just the epitome of sass. The nonchalant “whatever” thrown at the end of any conversation immediately makes it tense and awkward. Don’t act like that rebellious teenager that’s just borderline immature.

5.) “Calm down”

You have chosen death. Absolutely instant death. You better start picking out flowers for your own funeral at this point. This phrase is like pure gasoline poured over a single flame. After the words exit your lips, you have approximately 6 seconds to escape the enraging flames of fury that will immediately inundate the room. The greatest part about this phrase is that it causes the exact opposite reaction. I assure you, your parent will be anything but calm.

I highly do not recommend saying any of these phrases intentionally. If you do, best of luck, soldier.