Home for the Summer- Chapter Nine

“Has she gotten any better, do you think?” Jack asked as he sat down at the table later that night. I had gotten absolutely nowhere with trying to talk to her about it. 

“No.” I replied simply.

“Well, she’s stopped being so hysterical about it,” Johnny added, “I’d say that’s an improvement.”

“She’s still like a broken record. Won’t stop saying I won’t get it… I thought I was a pretty understanding person.”

“You are. Sometimes people just need time.” Jack added. He was probably right – she always liked dealing with this stuff on her own. But still, it hurt that I couldn’t help.

It was just really hard. I had never seen Gretchen be like this for this long. She was always strong, so seeing her compromised in this way was just hard to watch. She didn’t deserve it.

I just wanted to know what was wrong – what if I had been the one to trigger that? I wouldn’t want to make the same mistake again. And trying to talk to her gave me no answers. It was so embarrassing to have Jack and Johnny come back and still not know what the issue was.

So all of us, now equally as depressed as Gretchen was, gathered on the couch and started watching whatever movie was on ABC since it was a Sunday night. I was between the armrest and Johnny, and Jack was on the other side of him. It was a little awkward, but I didn’t mind. Johnny and I used to watch the Sunday night movies together all the time, so this was nothing new.

But it didn’t feel the same in tone. It felt like a distraction from the truth. Like there was a wall between us all. But my thoughts just stayed in my mind, swirling around. Swirling until I fell to sleep.

But, as I soon recalled, my sleep was never a place of peace. It was always a place of pain. I woke up with a sharp pain in my head, my face squished against the couch cushion. Great, they were all still here. Which meant they had witnessed it all… whatever there was to witness.

Johnny was gone now, which made it even worse, and I had since been covered in a blanket.

“Did you have a good rest?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Good… Johnny went to bed.”

“What time is it?”

“11.”

Great, an early night. Guess I have an extra-long day to look forward to tomorrow.

“Do you want to go for a walk? It’s still pretty warm out.” He continued.

“Sure, just let me get a sweater.”

“You won’t need one, it’s warm.”

“We’ll be down by the beach, it’s chillier the closer you get.”

I stood up, brushing my hair behind my ears and walking over to the coat rack near the front door. I took one of Gretchen’s zip-up sweatshirts that probably once belonged to Sam and put it on, reveling in the warmth against the chill I already felt. Then I led him out the back door, departing the porch steps and following the path toward the beach. Though I had walked this way so many times, something about it just felt different. I felt like I had aged ten years in a day, like all time was fleeting, or that it didn’t even exist. Where did all the time go?

“So… you’re going back to college, huh?”

“I don’t know. I asked Gretchen to stay here with them, and she doesn’t understand why. Isn’t it a good thing that I want to stay? I want to help her. I want to support them.”

“I mean, I see no problem with it as long as you aren’t giving up on your dreams.”

“I don’t feel like I am. College wasn’t getting me far in the first place.”

“I understand. She’s just trying to look out for you, but if that’s what you want, she shouldn’t argue about it.”

“Why did you ask?”

“Because we’re friends, and I want to know whether I should expect to keep bumping into you everywhere I turn.”

“I’ll be around.”

“That’s good.”

We both went awkwardly quiet, staring out at Miles Lagoon. I think we both had an idea of the conversation that was coming next, though we dwelled in fear of the other’s response. There was an awful lot we had left unsaid, and neither of us wanted to be the one to say it first. But he spoke up first, garnering the courage, and I was glad he did.

“I’m glad you’re not going back to school. I really like you, you know.”

“I like you too, Jack.” I sighed. “I kind of like you a lot.”

“I want to know everything about you. I want to know your family, and I want you to know mine. I want to be there when things like this are going on, I like helping you. You are just so cool.”

“Oh, I am not cool. You’re crazy for that one.”

“I know I’m not.” He went down closer to the water, putting his feet in so the water would rush up to his ankles every time it came up the shore.

“I think you’re the interesting one, here. You found me when you were working in a churro stand.”

“It was actually all funnel cake, and it was just a one-night gig.”

“Sure it was.”

“Fine, it was just two nights. But the funnel cake was good, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was.” I followed him down closer to the water, looking up at the moon behind him. “Do you think the town magic got us to this very moment?”

“Yup. Call me a dreamer, but if you believe in it wholeheartedly, then it’ll help you out.”

“The fortune-teller did tell me I had needs that would be met this summer. And that I wouldn’t be able to accept the way things were.”

“Well, then maybe she was wrong about the latter. You seem eager to accept this.” He turned. “You are, right?”

“Yeah.” I smiled at my hands, pulling my sweater tighter over my shoulders.

“So you are cold, huh? Maybe we should get back inside”

“Alright.”

I followed him back through the yard, desperately longing for the warmth of the house as we drew nearer. I tried my best to leave all my sand at the doorstep, but it didn’t work as well as I wished. When we made it inside, Gretchen and Johnny were huddled together, giggling at the kitchen counter that overlooked the backyard – they had been watching us the whole time.

“Why didn’t you kiss her?” Johnny exclaimed in the silence. We all just started laughing, Gretchen too. She seemed to be feeling better now.

“He was literally yelling “kiss her” the whole time!” Gretchen added.

“So that’s what that squeaky whistling was.” I teased, making my way between them. “Let me walk Jack out, please… it’s getting late.”

“Gotcha… you want real privacy this time.” Johnny smirked.

“Oh, don’t even you little twerp.” I rustled his hair as I made my way over to the front door, Jack joining me. We decided to go stand on the front porch instead of letting them overhear us.

“Thanks for coming over… I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“Oh, it’s no problem. Anytime.” He stepped down the front stairs, seeming like he was about to walk away before he turned around again. “I love you.”

My heart started beating kind of fast. I sighed with a smile, going to reply.

“Love you too.”

He smiled back, walking on his way. When I went back inside, Gretchen and Johnny were waiting there, smiling wide.

“I told you that you loved him.” Gretchen said.