Home For The Summer – Chapter Six

One day, Johnny actually decided to go out with his friends, leaving Gretchen and I at the house. She was tanning in the backyard, reading her latest book that I knew she would never finish. She only read when she wanted to look intelligent to please someone else, not because she actually enjoyed it.

I was painting behind her on the porch, looking out on the still water. Today was a new peace, a warm dawn. I was struck with all these big feelings I couldn’t quite tame. My decision was clear – I needed to stay here and work things out with my family. But I didn’t know how to convince Gretchen of that.

I lived in deep thought for the afternoon, thinking about my place in this town. My family needed me, but I didn’t belong in this town as they did. Johnny had his friends, and Gretchen had hers. There was a reason I went off to art school – I thought that would be a better environment for me. But even there I couldn’t make friends.

Now, the only person I had was Jack. And even then, he was fleeting. I could never see him again, and there might not even be a reason why, it could be that I just never saw him. We weren’t tied strongly enough by anything to be a sure sight.

“Summer, what do you want for your birthday?” Gretchen got up, walking up to the porch to get out of the sun. Her face was red and sweaty from the heat – we were at that uncomfortable point in the summer where every temperature felt excruciating.

“I don’t know.” I sighed.

“Come on, it’s the big 19! You don’t want anything?”

“I don’t think you’re going to like what I want.”

I wanted to stay home. I wanted to give up on my dream of a prestigious art school education. For once, I wanted my hometown.

“Tell me. If you want it so bad, then I’ll support you.”

“…I don’t want to go back to California. I need to stay here and help Johnny and you.”

She didn’t say anything at first. She just thought about what I said. It was like I could see the gears turning, see that she wasn’t exactly happy with what I just proposed. I knew she wouldn’t like my decision, but she asked to hear it.

“Do you want that, or need that?”

“Both. I want to help you, and you guys never should have had me go. You weren’t, and still aren’t ready. I shouldn’t have left until everything was good.”

“We can’t hold you down forever, Summer.”

“It’s not holding me down when I want to do it. I’m not happy there anyway. You can’t make a career out of being an artist. But I can as a photographer.”

“A photographer married to a baker?”

“Now where are you getting that idea from? We aren’t even together?”

“But there’s something there, isn’t there?” She gazed out at the water like she didn’t want to look at me and realize I was just as grown up as she was. “You really like him.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. I’m your sister, I know these things… and it’s like everywhere I turn I see you with him.”

“He just shows up, I’m not bold enough to invite him.”

“I saw you on the balcony with him at the ball.”

“We were just talking.”

“Didn’t look like you were just talking.”

After we danced together at the ball, we found a quiet balcony to get away from it all. People were getting grossly intoxicated and there was an influx of people coming in, so we wanted to stay away from the entrance. 

“So… what’s your dream, Summer?” He asked, looking out on the ocean, over the cliff this mansion sat on.

“I want to be a painter.” I replied.

“I know you like to paint. But is that your dream?”

“I think so. What’s yours?”

“Well, I want to make people happy. And for me, that’s with baking.”

“Is that really what you love to do, or do you feel forced into it?”

“If it’s your dream, it shouldn’t be forced.” He suggested.

“Then maybe I just want to be happy. And I want Gretchen and Johnny to be happy. And… I guess I want you to be happy, too.”

“You want me to be happy?”

“Y-yes…”

“I want you to be happy too.” He held my hands in his. “And I want you to be able to do what you want, not what others want for you.”

“And I bet you were just thinking about it, hm?”

“I was not!”

“Oh, yes you were.” She teased. “It’s fine if you feel something for him.”

“Then maybe I do, but that’s not-”
“Oh, my sister is in love!” She leapt up from her seat. “I have plenty of arrangements to make now.”

“Gretchen! I never said I was in love!”

“Remember what I said – I just know.”

She ducked inside, going to grab a notepad and pen before returning to her spot, tanning her back as she wrote and planned frantically. I could tell she was planning because she had her “thinking face” on. She would take any chance to plan something when she could.

“But Gretchen, are you really fine with me staying?”

“Oh, I never said that… are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“Look… I don’t want you to give up on your dream.”

“I don’t even know if I have a dream anymore.”

“You want to paint, do art – that’s your dream. You’re smart, you got into college. I know I wasn’t interested in going, but I never would have done well enough to get in. You are so lucky to be at such a good school, I don’t want you to throw that away.”

“I can always go back later, Gretchen. You just need me now, and that’s fine.”

“I need time to think about it,” she said. “Now you go and call Jack, and tell him to come over for dinner at six.”

“Six? We only have three hours, what if he can’t-”

“Oh hush, just do it. I can put together a dinner in half that.”

I followed her command, walking back into the house and to the kitchen. Johnny had arrived back at the house and was pouring himself a glass of water.

“Hey Johnny.”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Gretchen’s on one of her… sprees.”

“Oh, I see. Who does she have coming over?”

“Jack.”

“Jack? Yay, a good guest.”

“Glad you think so. I just think it’s last minute.”

“He always manages to come over and find you – shouldn’t be a problem.”

I just hoped he was right.