Buzzkill: Top 10 Worst Valentine’s Day Pickup Lines


Haylen Irvan presents the newest edition of Buzzkill, the top 10 worst pickup lines.

Haylen Irvan, Environmental Editor

Valentine’s Day is all about overpriced flowers, cheap chocolate, and the expectation of materialistic trifles. 

1. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

To be completely honest, this one isn’t that bad. It’s somewhat creative, but also still cheesy. Geography was never my thing I guess.


2. I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

This one is pretty smooth. No one really asks for phone numbers anymore, though. Now they hit you with the “Ayo, u got snap?” Or the, “What’s ur insta?”


3.) Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.”

This one bothers me. The last thing I want to be thinking about is a parking ticket I have to pay.


4.) Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?

Nobody really likes raisins. The only positive with this line is that no matter what the person answers the question with, you can still ask about a date. 


5.) Are you the square root of -1? Because you can’t be real!

This one enrages me. I guess it’s perfect if you like math, but personally, I’m not a fan. Also the fact that imaginary numbers even exist makes me mad and I don’t want to be reminded on Valentine’s Day.


6.) It’s a good thing I have my library card. Because I am totally checking you out.

NERDY. So now we’re implying that the other person is a book? No thank you.


7.) Are u from Tennessee? Bc ur the only Ten I See.

This one used to confuse me so much as a kid. It just never made any sense. Calling someone a “ten” sounds a little weird out of context though. This is probably one of the most overused pickup lines.


8.) Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot.

This is awful. There’s zero creativity and it’s just horrible.

9.) Are you a camera? Because I smile when I look at you.

Wow! Thanks! Sure, calling someone a camera isn’t creepy at all.


10.) Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?

THE. ABSOLUTE. WORST. This is one of the oldest tricks in the book. My mom even said that when she was younger someone used this one on her. MY MOM! Please don’t use this one. It needs to be retired.