Buzzkill: Top 10 DON’TS at Prom

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Piper Noyes, Staff Writer

With prom just around the corner, it’s important to make the best decisions to help ensure that your night will be as stress-free and pain-free as possible. I mean, who wants to waste $300 on a ticket and outfit just for it to be a complete catastrophe? Luckily, I’ve combined a list of things to stay away from so you don’t scroll through your old photo album twenty-years from now regretting literally everything.

1. Making out on the dance floor.

 

This is a big NO at prom or just in general. To be completely honest with you, no one wants to see two teenagers eating each other’s faces while the whole school is surrounding you with their wild dance moves. People that do this big no-no must have a lot of courage. Like, can they care less what other people think? I know they’re just living in the moment, but maybe save that for later when you’re off school grounds. The last thing I will say about this atrocity is that your teachers that you see every day will most definitely be staring at you while you’re making out with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Going to school on Monday will be a little awkward.

Photo via Pixabay under Pixabay liscense.

2. Wearing socks with ankle pants.

 

This one is for the boys – listen to me when I say “don’t do this.” When you walk into the ballroom with your head held high, feeling all cool, and topping off your outfit with some bling around your neck, you might feel like the spotlight is on you. Well, you’re wrong. The spotlight is on your socks. I mean, this is the definition of “ick.” If you decide to wear pants that are way too tight on you and don’t even make it down to your ankles, at least wear no show socks. The discolored socks are not something anyone, especially your date, doesn’t want to see . It messes with your look, and overall looks goofy.

3. Styling your hair in an up-do.

 

Photo via Pixabay under Pixabay license.

You might think this is super cute, and people will shower you with compliments like “OMG, I love your hair!” but that’s not going to be the case. The trend of updos is way out of style and is so 2014 . I don’t know why girls are still doing it. First off it takes way too long to do, and girls might even pay to get it professionally done. Well, save your money, because it is going to fall out right after the “Cha Cha Slide” plays. I would stick to curled or straight hair if I were you, maybe even adding some pearls in your hair since that’s more in style than a big lump of hair stuck to your head.

 

4. Sitting down at your table the entire time.

 

The boys tend to do this a lot, but the girls seem to do this as well, so I’m talking to all of you. If you’re paying  $100 to attend prom, why are you wasting all that money to sit on your butt the whole time when you could be doing that on your coach at home for free? Prom is a night to have fun and dance until your feet get

Photo via Pixabay under Pixabay license.

sore and you get a cramp on the side of your stomach. No one wants their date being a party pooper and just fiddling with their fingers the whole night. If you see anyone doing this, run over and grab their hand very aggressively and whip them on the dance floor.

5. Sweat profusely while dancing.

 

Once you feel yourself dripping with sweat, maybe sit down and drink a couple bottles of water, because no one wants to swim in a puddle of your sweat. It’s so gross when you’re having the time of your life and start getting sprinkled by water only to realize it’s coming from the tall kid hovering over you that is about to have a heat stroke.  After a person sweats, they tend to smell really bad. So, you can kill two birds with one stone and keep yourself from creating a category 4 hurricane.

6. Wear big, poofy dresses.

 

Ladies! Please, please, please don’t wear a big Cinderella dress to prom. It’s only going to get stepped on or ripped, and no girl wants their dress to be ruined. So, stick to a manageable sized dress so a wardrobe malfunction doesn’t occur. Going to prom, you know you’re going to be constantly jumping, (since that’s what everyone does instead of actually dancing.) If you want to wear a big, poofy dress that’s going to get in everyone’s way, why not go to a beauty pageant where people will actually praise you for the amount of poof you have?

7. Try to make a dance circle.

 

Photo via Pixabay under Pixabay License

“Everyone get back, get back!” Once I hear those exact words, that’s when I pack my stuff and leave. This is probably the most obnoxious thing someone can do. First off, no ones going to listen to 4 foot freshmen telling them to scoot back and make a circle. Second of all these “dance circles” last a maximum of a minute. They go through all this trouble to make a circle and do one move like “the whip” and run away. The final reason why this action should be illegal, is because everyone keeps pushing each other into the circle and it’s so cringe to watch multiple people eating the ground as their best friend is saying, “go dance.” Like, no one wants to do that. It’s so crazy that a circle can scare so many people.

 

8. Wear high heels on the dance floor.

 

I know all the girls love to show off their new shoes that they bought to match their dress perfectly, but maybe take them off before you start bouncing around to the song, “Fireball.” No one likes to get their toes crushed by a 4 inch heel. From experience, that hurts like nothing else. Also, wouldn’t you like to dance comfortably and not get blisters on the back of your heels? The heels are for decoration, not to be stomped on. All I’m saying is, ladies, leave your red bottoms under the table. Because if someone stepped on my toe, I would shove them into the dance circle just to get back at them for obliterating my pinky-toe.

9. Crowd surf.

 

Photo via Pixabay under Pixabay license.

I don’t even know why this is on the list, because I would not expect crowd surfing to even cross someone’s mind during a school dance. Crowd surfing is just an accident waiting to happen, and it’s not like we’re at a rock and roll concert where you jump into the crowd. It’s a school dance. This can go so wrong so fast. For example, if you jump in a crowd and no one notices it, people will move out of the way out of fear, and leave you to break an arm or two. I say this, because no one wants a whole person’s body getting thrown at them, having to lift that weight all the way to the other person. Just don’t do this. Stick to the conga line.

10. Get a fake tan.

 

Photo via Pixabay under Pixabay license.

For the final no-no of prom, we have the most frustrating one, that people continue to do every year – fake tans. Just don’t. They always turn out terrible, even if your friends tell you it’s “not that noticeable.” All the girls come to school the day before prom looking like an oompa-loompa from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. First off, I bet your bed sheets are going to turn to a totally different shade, and it’s going to get all over your dress once you sweat it off on the steaming dance floor. Besides, fake tans always look streaky and blotchy, so why spend all that money on a gorgeous dress and ruin it with a $30 spray tan? Maybe go in the real sun for an hour to get your tan lines more defined before even thinking about getting sprayed down with a fake tan that will make you look like Donald Trump. BTW, everyone knows you got a spray tan, so don’t even try to hide it.

Prom is a once a year occasion and you want to look your best and act your best. Don’t ruin your night with a puffy unmanageable dress or an outrageous spray tan that you’ll instantly regret getting. Instead, take the natural route and just wear what you feel most comfortable in. Prom is a magical night for everyone, and no one wants their toes to be crushed by a girl’s platform heels or being pushed into a dance circle that will end up being a total flop. Just stick to dancing and singing to the lyrics with your friends or special date. Make memories that you can look back at and reminisce about when you graduate, because you can only go to prom a few times, and those few times you will want to cherish. Trust me, you don’t want to remember your prom night being the night a couple couldn’t stop eating each others faces while attempting to dance at the same time.