With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it’s hard to stare at the aisles of chocolate, rose bouquets, and greeting cards without someone to share them with. Though it may have been weeks, months, or even years since someone special has popped into your life, it’s never too late to redownload those sketchy dating apps, and find the love of your life. While it can be difficult to plan first dates, given everyone has different interests and preferences, today’s list of wonderfully terrible first dates are guaranteed to repel any potential lover within decent quality. Use them wisely.

1. The Movies

What is this, middle school? I can’t think of anything more romantic than sitting in a dark and crowded room, gaining the courage to hold their hand at an awkward and uncomfortable angle. On top of the minimal talking included with this date, there’s literally no appropriate genre to see. A Disney film? Good luck watching the movie over the armies of small children climbing over the seats. A comedy? This is a sure way to find out that they don’t share the same sense of humor as you. A romance film? Woah, slow your roll. You might scare off all of the lonely old people in the theater. Also, who pays for the popcorn? 

2. Concerts

Similar to the movies, there is little to no talking during the entire duration, unless it happens to be a really lame concert at a healthy volume level. If you manage to score pit tickets, it’s even harder to have a conversation without screaming “WHAT?” every other sentence. There’s also nothing more attractive than your date shouting the lyrics extremely off-key at the top of their lungs. This is the type of event that will make you say, “yeah, we should’ve just gone to Chili’s.” 

3. Fast Food

On the topic of restaurants, heading to McDonalds may seem like a great, low-key date option that doesn’t break the bank – if you’ve been dating for 8 years. Nothing more impressive to a potential life partner than your skill to eat 3 BigMacs in 1 minute. 

4. Swimming

On top of the many, many things impractical about this, what is there to do? Play mermaids? How about H2-no.

5. Weddings

Plus ones can be an amazing idea for a casual date, especially if you want to introduce them to your friends and family in a non-confrontational way. However, attending an event in which two people vow to devote their lives to each other, isn’t exactly casual, especially for a first date. If things don’t end up working out, not only is this going to be extremely awkward to explain when people ask where they went, but now there will be just another stranger who has now seen your uncle bust it down on the dance floor to the Cupid Shuffle. If that’s not blackmail, I don’t know what is. 

6. Hiking

Two words: hot and sweaty. Before taking a step as gigantic as strolling alone down a wooded path in the middle of nowhere together, it might be smart to make sure you and your date are both outdoorsy. It might also be a good idea to do a background check beforehand. 

7. Ice Skating

Alright, there’s layers to this one. Although this seems great in theory, whether you get a second date or not depends entirely on your attitude. Let’s face it – you’re going to slip on the ice. It’s inevitable. While you may not faceplant, this little slip-up can be enough to make your potential partner take a “trip to the bathroom” and never return. But here’s the catch. If you’re a good sport about things and laugh it off, you’ll have a fair chance at a second date. If you let your ego become as bruised as your bum, you might as well drive them home immediately. 

8. The Mall

Unless your date is spilling their wallet for you, there’s really no point to this one. 

Kidding. 

But seriously, where is the logic in this one? Why take a stroll down the beach when you can drag your date along a crowded petri dish, flooded with creepy vendors and candy machines that haven’t been cleaned since 2007? This is a great way to make sure that your date silently judges everything. Your style, spending habits, public mannerisms, and their taste in partners (or lack thereof.) 

9. Camping

Much like hiking, this is definitely a date where you’d want to check their public record beforehand. You really couldn’t think of anything better to do? Something where you don’t have to sleep on a plastic sheet in the middle of the wilderness with limited cell service? You might as well go to a fast food place, because at least you won’t have to worry about a rabid animal sneaking into your food there, unless you’re in Florida.  

10. Double Dates

Oooh, how fun! There’s nothing awkward about a double date with two couples. One pair who has been dating for 5 years and engaged for 2, and another who met last Tuesday waiting for their taquitos at 7/11. There are so many things to talk about. Marriage, children, endless vacations, and Tinder’s newest Explore feature. That’s gonna be a long dinner.